My Story

My sales career started 15 years ago when I was offered a commission based sales role at a top luxury travel agency.  Despite being really excited by the opportunity to work with this company, I was absolutely terrified of sales. I knew deep down that I wouldn’t be good at sales and working on commission only felt like a huge risk I just wasn’t willing to take. I suppose at the time the idea of “sales” felt sleazy, manipulative, and just flat out hard.  I turned the offer down only to reconsider a year later when I was forced to find a new job quickly. I went ahead and threw myself into the sales role even though I was scared beyond belief.  So terrified, I saw a psychologist to help prepare me for the training.  I took all of it so seriously as I just knew I wasn’t going to be good at sales.  I studied, I practiced, I prayed.  I did everything I could think of that would help me feel better about the fact that I was taking a commission only sales job despite knowing I wasn’t going to survive!  To make matters worse, sales numbers were displayed to the whole team on a Power Rank, in other words everyone could see how much you were producing (or not) at any given time.  What a nightmare for someone so insecure about their ability to sell!  Fast forward 3 months and guess who was the top “newbie” and a “natural” at sales? That’s right, little-ole-miss-insecure, hyper-critical-of-myself me! The experience I was having of myself in relation to sales did not match reality and I struggled with self-doubt and inner chaos for years as a result.

 

Over the course of my 9-year career in this commission-based sales role, I was consistently a top performer, oftentimes ranking in the Top 3 and even reaching the #1 spot on multiple occasions. I made a lot of money and I had moments of really loving my job.  On the inside however I was in constant emotional turmoil, beating myself up if I had an off month or anytime a client said no.  I wanted to control all of the outcomes and I tied my self worth to how much I was producing.  I feared rejection and rejected myself every time I heard “no.”  Riding the crazy rollercoaster of emotions, I always wanted to quit.  I never felt good enough and self doubt and fear consumed me.  The glass was always half empty. I took things personally. I was sensitive and I was emotional. I focused on scarcity and the sales I wasn’t making. I never celebrated myself for the sales I did make. I tried to force things and I would get mad when it didn’t go my way. I hated sales.  But I loved sales - when I was making them.  You get the idea - I was a basket case of emotions when it came to the sales game and I struggled almost all of the time.  It’s amazing that I was as “successful” as I was considering all I had going on inside.  That’s the thing - on paper I was successful, but inside I was a total mess.

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It’s no surprise that nine years in a pure hustle and grind commission based sales role led me to burnout.  Eventually I found the courage to take the leap - hopefully into a job that was not so sales heavy.  Nope. Once again I found myself in a sales job where I was very much revered, was being compensated well but was a total emotional mess on the inside.  I cried a lot.  I beat myself up.  After every sales call I would criticize myself and think I should have said it differently, why didn’t I say this, or I should have said that.  I’m not doing it right.  I’m not good enough.  I hate sales. But then YAY I just signed a contract, I love sales!!! What a total mind %#$&!  My self esteem took a hit every time I got a no and yet to succeed in sales you need to exude confidence. Quite the pickle. Instead of embracing objections, I took them as a personal hit that meant I wasn’t doing a good job which didn’t help my confidence.

 

I hired a Communication coach because I had convinced myself that my issue was lack of communication skills. LOL.  This coach changed my life.  He looked at me and said, “Shay, it is absolutely insane that the person sitting in front of me thinks she has issues with communication.”  He helped me realize that my self-perception was really quite delusional and that my hyper-vigilance and ultra inner self critic was the culprit.  We discovered that my nervous system had been so wrecked by all the emotional turmoil and that I was getting a double dose of rejection.  Rejection is by default a part of sales and here I was someone who criticized herself so harshly AND I was in a career where rejection was literally baked into the daily experience. Did I hate sales? Or did I hate how sales made me feel about myself? How tough it is to be good at something but hate it at the same time.  

 

I needed to heal this once and for all. And there began the journey of coming home to myself, of exploring who I was if I wasn’t selling or producing, of realizing that it’s actually safer to rely on myself than external sources (ie sales), that if I could change the way I was thinking then I would literally change how I viewed everything in my entire existence. Through heart-centered awareness, I learned to operate from my heart instead of my mind.  I explored healing my nervous system through Trauma Release Exercises and Feminine Embodiment.  I got to know my inner critic (her name is Victoria and she has a tight bun and likes to control!) and I developed a relationship with her.  Diving deep into my limiting beliefs, I engaged in story and language work to transform my mindset.  I also examined my relationship to money and how scarcity and abundance were shaping my perspective on sales.   I surrendered to the idea that my beliefs create my thoughts which create my emotions which influence my reality.  This made all the difference.

 

In the end it wasn’t even about sales.  It was about falling in love with myself enough to know that everything I need is within and that I have the power to create my reality through my mindset.  My mission is to guide other women to discover this for themselves. I’ve been on the personal development path for 12+ years, studied a ton of modalities and concepts, completed courses and workshops, and listened to hours upon hours of podcasts and audiobooks. All of this was great but none of it really sunk in until I started working 1:1 with a coach.  The personal attention and accountability was profound. 

 

As a certified coach through The Enlifted Method™️ and a student of the M.I.N.D Method™, my passion is to help women in sales roles who feel controlled by their emotions and who seek relief from extreme self criticism, hypervigilance, and low self esteem so that they can succeed in their sales, experience freedom and thrive. If you see any part of yourself in my story or if any of my experience resonates with you, please reach out, it would be my honor to support you!

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